I hate death ....

I hate the way it makes you feel inside ..
Sunday morning I learned that my friend Rena's Grandmother passed away she had been suffering with cancer and was {I am thinking} in her 80s and was ready to go...I felt sad hearing the sadness in Rena's voice but also the relief that her Grandma was no longer in pain ...
We then got home from town and find out that a man from out church died in the afternoon His name was J.O. (Joe) and he was a really nice man I don't think there have many times that I have left church or his house {I had only been to his house once} without telling Randy how much I really liked J.O.
He had also come over to do some tractor`ing in our yard and helped spread the dirt for our lawn ...
He always had a sparkle in his eye... I can't describe how he was, just down to earth and caring but not in a huggy + feely soft way, but in a farmer been there, done that its just life kind of way..
The last time I seen him was about a month ago and its the first time we had been to church since the remodel and I was talking to him about the the new heat in the church and was he going to miss coming to start the wood stove before church every Sunday and he just had that twinkle in his eye as he said no way not at all, but the wood stove in the dining room was still there for him :-).........
.
He was diagnosed with liver cancer about 4 years ago and was able to beat it and was cancer free till just recently....When we seen him last month they had just learned the cancer had come back, he went to Portland for an experimental procedure to cut the spots off his liver..... he had some issue after surgery, but was then feeling better making plans to come home then for some reason his kidneys failed the docs thought they could jump start start them with dialysis and then send him home, his wife had just talked to him that morning before the dialysis and he was fine ..

After he was hooked up to dialysis he lost blood pressure and died that quick ....

For some reason, I am not sure the hospital called a man from our church to let him know ..and then a group from from church went to tell his wife, she had no idea {I don't know why the hospital didn't call her first}
I know that J.O. was fine with dying {we all should be right, we all have to do it sooner or later ..}
And it was a great blessing to his family and friends to have the extra 4 years with him and and I guess if I had to pick a way to go for myself, it would be in much the same way as J.O. he didn't suffer greatly and I know from what happened after I had Rylan that when you loose your blood pressure there is no great fear or pain, just tiredness, you just go to sleep...

he had true faith that he would be moving on living in the light of the Lord..... but my heart is deeply saddened for his wife Sherrill

I took this picture last month when we went to church I don't think I have any of the front of J.O. thats him with his legs stretched out in front of him in black cowboy boots..Him and his wife always sat in front of us at church so this was how I seen J.O. most every Sunday and there is also a picture of the back of his head on the funeral page of the babies website ...

Rest in peace J.O.



if your wondering why I have a picture of the back of his head its because I was taking pictures of my friends little girls dedication and just cropped the picture down....