Tegan and Taylors 3rd........

Birthday Day / Death day /Angel Day / Anniversary day whatever, its here and its still painful...

Woke up this morning to Randy thinking Rylan was dead at 3 am...

Rylans been getting in bed with us every night since he was moved to his big bed... Well Randy put his hand on Rylans belly and didn't think he could feel him breathing so he started yelling whats wrong with him and turning on the light, he thought maybe I had rolled on him or something. Rylan was fine he grabbed a hold of me wondering what was going on, he went right back to sleep but me and Randy have been up ever since ......

I have had dreams about the girls the two nights before last in the first one I dreamed were were doing the funeral and and burying them again. Randy was digging their grave and then we seen that their coffin was already there, then I figured out that they were already buried and figured out that the funeral home had gave us some other babies to bury . in my dream I was thinging the could be older lady twins because they had hair even thought they were the same size as Tegan and Taylor ...

The night before last I dreamed we were at church and a lady that said raising twins (she had twins) was hell and I said try burying twins its a worse hell maybe yours should die and mine should live ....
Thats how the 3 year Birthday Day / Death day /Angel Day / Anniversary day whatever is going so far and its only 5:30 Am............